Oh how the mighty have fallen! Having gone from flying business class to cattle class was absolutely terrible. Sadly this was the most economical way of getting from Melbourne to Honolulu as I had just missed out on a special from Hawaiian Airlines which would have been MUCH better. As the title would have it, Jetstar is a no-frills airline. I had to forgo my cookies baked for me on the plane, or eating my sumptuous filet mignon steak for well... nothing! Anyways lets start off at the very beginning with booking your flight.
Booking your flight:
When it comes to booking flights I generally like to go to the source, unless there’s a deal out there that I just can’t refuse. So I logged onto Jetstar’s website and set up an account and searched for my flights. MEL to HNL round trip totalled around $1400 which is not exactly ideal but it was the best price I could get. You choose your flights and pre-pay your luggage as it’s way higher paying for it at the gate. Everything was good up until I was bombarded with so-called add-ons for your flight. Do I want to upgrade to business class for $300 each way? NO. Do I want to choose my seat for $7 per flight (4 flights total)? NO. Do I want to pre-book a meal with my flight for $12-15 per flight? NO. Do I want an entertainment system/Ipad for my flight for $12/flight? NO. Do I need to get a hotel at my destination? NO. Do I want to rent a car at my destination? NO. Do I want to donate to charity? NO. OMG SERIOUSLY I JUST WANT MY F!@#ING CONFIRMATION ALREADY! I was very successful in booking my flight for the original price quoted with NO ADD ONS.
About 10 days before my flight (which happened to be my birthday) I got a call from the airline just to “confirm” my itinerary. Everything was going well right up until I noticed that the girl on the other end of the line started going through THE WHOLE DAMN UPSELL SPIEL AGAIN. With my Canadian patience gone but luckily my politeness still intact I advised the girl that I like my booking as-is and don’t wish to make any changes. I might of had to repeat this once as she tried to persist but she got it and ended the call. Whew what an experience...
The Domestic Experience:
Finally the day came where I’d be making my way to Hawaii. Woke up at 5:45am got ready and did a last minute frantic packing check as I normally do. Being a domestic flight I thought I had tons of time between check-in and getting to the gate as any normal person would assume you’d be leaving the country (going through immigration etc.) at the last port before departure. There was a massive traffic jam at Tullamarine Airport so I was a little nervous but got to the check-in counter and there was NOBODY! Safe! Well...not so much. I found out that I had to go through immi and customs HERE as well as go through airport security. Got through everything smoothly but what’s that on the screen?? FINAL BOARDING CALL FOR MATT’S FLIGHT... F!@#. Made an amazing race style dash to my gate only to find out that there’s still 40min or so before leaving... F!@#kers. Of course we also left 30min late... sigh...
The flight to Sydney was about 2hrs total - simple stuff. I planned on listening to a few tunes or play games on my phone (no laptop on this trip). Basically I got nothing to eat on the flight as I refuse to use a credit card on a plane - weird security paranoia. Anyways there was a darling couple sitting next to me composed of a failed jersey shore wannabe who was more flubber than muscle and his trophy pizza-face girlfriend. They spent the whole 2hrs nagging at each other in the form of thanking each other. Thank you so much (guy’s name) for being a condescending prick. Thank you SO MUCH (girl’s name) for being a nag. Thank you so much (guys name) for not moving your legs so I can go to the toilet. And so this went on...and on... My rage was burning but I then realized that these are probably the only four words in the english language they know. It’s never cool to yell at those with special needs.
Anyways we landed in Sydney and here I was pointed to the international transfer checkpoint. There were a few of us headed there. As I walked I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder constantly on the lookout for my two special friends from the earlier flight. No sign of them! Safe...safe for now!
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