The Australian Toilet Experience

Everyone has seen the Simpsons episode where Bart visits Australia regarding the whole toilets flushing counter clockwise. I hate to say this but despite the massive amount of requests that I’ve received to film and post on Youtube a toilet flushing counter clockwise, it just won’t happen... But on that note, let’s talk about Australian toilets as they sure have been an experience for me since arriving here a month ago.

Your average plain Jane toilet here in Oz.

This my friends is your normal Aussie toilet. You’ll notice the two flush buttons on the top. Here in the land of Oz there’s a huge water conservation movement going on as this is the driest continent on the planet. One button is a half flush and the other is a full flush. The one thing about the toilets here is that they do not swirl. It’s basically as if somebody is dumping a bucket of water in the toilet to flush whatever it is you left in there down the drain. So when you do get here, don’t be expecting like the Simpsons and get a counterclockwise swirl.

Urinals here in Oz, it's just one big tub!

All right men, let’s talk urinals! Now I went through a lot of trouble to get this photo, as if anyone would have walked in I would have been on my way to the local hospital. This is actually a sort of luxury urinal as you’re not standing over a grill watching your urine go down the drain. You’ll also notice that unlike in North America, privacy is NOT guaranteed here. Back home we have individual urinals as the norm, in some cases we even place walls in between them, here they’re only in the fancy places. Those who have trouble going with others around might need to reconsider a trip here!

Flies everywhere!!!

Now let’s start talking about unconventional toilets here in Oz. Above we have a picture of my first outhouse toilet here in Australia which I had the pleasure of experiencing on my first weekend camping along the great ocean road. I really had to go the first time I visited this toilet, but as soon as I raised the lid I had an unpleasant surprise! All of a sudden all I heard was buzz buzz buzz which I thought was bees. I got laughed at when I asked about all the buzzing as I was terrified of getting stung. Turns out it was flies all along! The flies here are something else, but that’s a whole other blog post.

Ugh this was disgusting!

This my friends is the worst of the worst toilets I’ve ever been exposed to in my life. I had the pleasure of visiting this gem while on the greyhound bus from Melbourne to Sydney, which is a 12hr bus ride. This has to be the closest thing to a 3rd world toilet I’ve ever experienced. There is NO water to flush. The flush mechanism is basically a flap at the bottom that opens up. There was also no toilet paper for people to wipe themselves. I had a mixture of anger and pity for the girl who had explosive diarrhea 1 hr into the 12hr trip. While I was angry that she stank up the bus so early into the journey, she also couldn’t wipe herself till either Sydney or Canberra. This is by far the worst toilet I’ve ever visited...EVER!

As you can see, I’ve had some interesting experiences with the toilets down here in Oz. While my experience is nothing compared to the adventure in the Simpsons episode, it’s still pretty interesting. It can be a little bit of an adjustment from the luxurious North American toilets we’re almost all accustomed to, but easy enough it’s not that much work. Just be sure to remember that in the bush, that buzzing sound is probably flies, and avoid the greyhound toilet at all costs!